When I began this site, I had seen petticoat discipline practised on a couple of occasions in my girlhood years in the late 40s and 50s, and had read about it with interest in the SRA publications of the 1970s. I have never practised it myself, as any readers who have written asking me this question will know. However, I did not really understand until the past year the agonising loneliness that many men who crave petticoating or babying suffer. I should say that this site, of which I am justly proud, will never sponsor a 'Contact' page, because I think they are - well - sleazy, and because they are not the answer. Life is not that easy, and contacts made in this way will pretty much always lead to disappointment and unhappiness (I have put a few readers in touch with one another, such as the typing pool girls, but that is just to promote normal friendship).

I can also answer here all those readers who write to me asking (for example) 'Do you know any ladies in the Midlands who need a maid, and who would be willing to put me back into nappies?' The answer is, no, I don't.

If you want to bring your desires to fulfilment, you need to establish a close and trusting relationship first. I have stressed over and over again the importance of closeness and love in a relationship that involves petticoat discipline. The anguished worry of many men is, what will their partners think? This is why I have asked these two wives of admirable men, who enjoy being pretend little girls and babies, to give their thoughts on the matter. I hope readers have found these two pieces helpful.

With regard to Lynne's discussion, I do think that the great majority of men now understand that a woman's attraction towards them has not much of the body-oriented, 'macho' aspect to it. Unfortunately, some difficult-to-achieve substitute has often been stressed in articles in women's magazines, and so a lot of men still feel very inadequate regarding finding a partner. The fashion over the last few years has been that the man must have a 'good sense of humour'. Unfortunately, a really creative sense of humour is a rara avis, and so a lot of men feel that there is still no hope. I would just like to say, you do not necessarily need a sense of humour; as Lynne states, 'we are all acceptable to somebody'. My primary suggestion in developing a long-term relationship is this: you must try.
I can't give particular details, because we are all different, but I can say, no effort, no partner. This is the answer to those readers who write asking, 'Can you put me in touch with a woman who would like to meet a submissive male to petticoat, and to serve her?' There is no effort there on their part, and so even if I did know any such women - and I don't - it would not work out.

Lynne advises that you should 'just be yourself' in the early stages of getting to know a woman. Here Lynne is referring to 'yourself' independent of your petticoating desires which are, after all, only a small part of the real you. What I am trying to say is that women are not really interested in a long-term relationship with a grovelling man. I know that many of the letters that I have published over the last twelve months would suggest otherwise, but the males in these letters must have other qualities as well, which the woman writing has not concentrated upon in the letter.

Lynne also writes, 'In the same way that I have reached out to understand him, he has done likewise to understand my needs and desires. A partnership isn't just one way, and he is not the only one that needs love and understanding'. This is so true, and very much a part of making the effort that I mentioned above. If you find a partner who is willing to dress you in frilly undies and tie you into a pinnie, then just doing the housework isn't really much to offer in return, although your fantasy thoughts might think it is. You have to do better than that, you must be an active friend on a deep level with your partner, and understand that the petticoat side of things is really just a sometimes game, in which she is doing much more for you than you are doing for her.
 
This might be a good place to put in my tuppence ha'penny's worth of down-to-earth Scotch advice. I can think of a couple of pointers which might be helpful:

1. If you enjoy dressing as a little girl or a baby, I would be careful of a partner who is petite. When a man with these desires seems attracted to a woman who knows she is shorter than the average, some very uncomfortable thoughts can form in her mind. Generally you would have more chance of acceptance with a woman of normal stature, or taller. Of course this is not a hard-and-fast rule - nothing is.

2. I believe you would have a much better chance of acceptance with a woman who really understands the use of clothes for self-expression, such as a theatrical costume designer, or the like. My readers probably see me (correctly) as a rather conservative, old-fashioned person, but there is one young fashion that I absolutely adore, and wish had been around in my own youth, and that is the 'gothick' look.

I have seen modern girls wearing the most beautiful clothes, with lovely flowing skirts, and hand-made flounced petticoats, and even satin long-line bloomers, in the gothick style. Of course readers might protest that all this is inspired my Sheridan le Fanu and Bram Stoker vampire novels, and by horror films, and that the clothes are black and purple, rather than baby pink and white. I know that, but serious goths understand clothing as a lifestyle, and a form of self-expression, and usually it is old-fashioned, frilly clothing - of a kind.

I do know that one woman who manages a gothick clothing outlet - Mortisha's  - is happily married to a cross dresser, so I do believe I am right about this. This fashion is, of course, confined to the young, but it is only an example. A woman for whom clothes are 'just clothes' in unlikely to have much understanding of your special needs, but a woman for whom clothes are something special and expressive, is, I think, much more likely to empathise.

Marianne confirms that 'dominatrix' women are most uncommon, but that if a woman loves and respects you, she will try to help you with the things that give you pleasure and satisfaction. Marianne's article also points to a matter that men need to understand: to the man, his desires must seem the most natural, and sweetest, thing in the world, but they can be very disturbing, and almost impossible to understand, for a woman. You need to talk about it. That comes out very clearly in the writings of both Marianne and Lynne. Even if those desires are, in the end, not accepted, you need to discuss your desires and feelings, and not just expect your partner to fit in.

Modern life is becoming more stressful, and all occupations are more complex and demanding, in this modern world of increased expectations, than they used to be. As I pointed out in 'The Bliss of Nappies', the essay I have written for 'Dummy Discipline Digest', petticoats and nappies can be supremely relaxing and therapeutic. And they are much healthier than too much alcohol, or any tobacco, not to mention other drugs. This is something that could perhaps be explained to your partner. Of course there is a sexual side as well, and your partner will be well aware of that, but explain that that is not the whole story. If your partner understands that these clothes, and the submissive feelings that accompany them, relieve better than anything else the stresses and strains of the outside world, this may help. I have received a letter which touches upon this, which will be published in the January issue.

A question which gives many men pause is how to even broach the subject in the first place. One subterfuge might be this: obtain a copy of the Peter Farrer book I have reviewed this month. Peter's books are prepared and bound with the utmost propriety and good taste - there is nothing garish about them. Tell your partner that you bought it on a whim at a second hand bookshop. Tell her it is very interesting, and read out some of the letters. This at least gets the subject mentioned. You could explain when things have been discussed more, that you really bought it hoping that it would help her to try and understand your own desires. I suppose you could do something similar with this site, although I think the book is preferable.

In 2001 I will be adding a new occasional page to 'Petticoat Discipline Monthly'. Readers, male and female, who have serious and well-intentioned suggestions regarding how these matters can be approached with a wife, partner, or potential partner, can write to me and I will publish the letters on this page. Hopefully, we can make some progress towards reducing the amount of loneliness and unhappiness that many good, but submissive, men experience in life.
Susan MacDonald