Dear Susan,

About three years ago, give or take a couple of months, my son made a very dispiriting remark about housework. More specifically its being really only appropriate for girls, obviously because when he had visited friends' houses it was the mother and the girls who were doing all the housework. I've had to paraphrase that remark, because it's no longer remembered word for word. However, I do remember the anger it aroused, and much of that because it echoed what his father so often said of such things. Unjustly this is still the case today, when so many more women are working outside the home.

As it happens, and I consider this my very good fortune, I found your site. As you might also guess I spent a great deal of time discovering I had some very effective options. Options, I should add, I took full advantage of not too long after he'd said what he said. For the record I found a great deal of pleasure shopping for his first "chores" outfit.

Needless to say my son now understands perfectly what is, and isn't, appropriate work for one sex or another. The fact is, he spent that first summer, soon after that remark, doing housework dressed as a girl, and I was insistent on him dressing fully as a girl. It suited us both very well – or it suited me very well at least.

Of course I began to apply that sort of discipline towards other behavioral issues, and in our spare room there are a number of options he's forced to choose between from time to time. Given that leverage, and his penchant for mischief, I've almost been tempted to extend his punishment to the outside world. Unfortunately sending him out dressed as a girl has not been practical for obvious reasons, but I have found an alternative and my reason for writing is to tell your readers about it.

When I was growing up I wore bloomers, which were only necessary during the colder parts of winter. My grandmother started that horrid fashion trend when mother and I spent one winter under her roof. As a girl I felt so embarrassed wearing such old-fashioned undies - these were just above the knee, and thankfully hidden by my skirts and slips, or nearly so.  Fortunately, towards my own teenage years, those evolved into what came to be known as "pettipants" or "culottes".

I was remembering those long-legged bloomers when, for whatever reason, it struck me that they would be perfect as part of my son's disciplinary wardrobe. I had to fashion his first pair from memory, which wasn't all that difficult since those memories were so vivid. The only change I made from those I wore to those he began to wear was in choice of fabrics and adornment. My girlhood bloomers were of soft interlock cotton, and very tight around the leg, but quite plain. I decided to make his a bit fancier and more feminine, as mothers applying petticoat discipline so often do.

That first pair was fashioned from a light pink slipper satin and I used soft ribbon satin for bows so they would lay reasonably flat under his jeans or slacks. Two more pairs, designed to be slightly more "sissy," have two layers, with that second layer a chiffon, or lingerie nylon, over satin. Most, if not all, are adorned with soft lace trims and delicate bows. They almost quite literally work as slips of a sort, and have been very effective when he's made to wear them. I actually refer to them with emphasis as his "sissy boy slips" or "sissy slips" when they become necessary for any reason.

He also wore a princesse style little girls' full slip, a corduroy, pinafore style dress, with big buttons attaching the shoulder straps to the bib, a pretty ruffled blouse, and knee-high white socks and Mary Jane shoes when he was helping with the housework. But it is the fancy bloomers, or "sissy boy slips' to me, that I thought were the most effective garment in reining in his boyishness, because he could wear them with boys' clothes.

When he's to wear them to school, I simply write a note excusing him from gym so he doesn't have to change in front of the other boys. I should add here that just the threat of sending him to school without that note is almost as effective as making him wear his sissy slips in the first place.

For any mothers reading this, these sissy slips, or bloomers if you prefer, have also had a secondary benefit. Actually this came about without me realizing it, when his interest in girls grew.  To be frank, he rarely dates, or is allowed to date, without something pretty under his pants to help remind him to keep those pants on.

In sharing this I'm sure there are going to be those horrified over such treatment, and I myself might have been at one time. I might have, had I not been privileged to see the benefits of these undergarments first-hand. Ironically I've almost shared these secrets with a number of mothers, given that they've often asked what I do to keep him so well-mannered and well-behaved.

In retrospect it is clear now that I was introducing him to a form of cross dressing, although I would argue that his penchant for girls' lingerie, which he now has because he is no longer the rather rowdy son of old, could be seen as a positive. I say that only because his voluntary cross dressing started well after his behavior took that turn for the better. Moreover his social life, as he's grown older, has been much improved by such things, and I can only cite his girlfriend's comments in claiming so.

Yes, he certainly has a 'special girl'. It was his looks and attitude that first attracted her to him. Beyond that it was his reluctance to go those extra steps boys often try taking that kept him endeared to her. When it was clear to me that she was more than suitable as a possible match or mate for my son, I disclosed a bit of that "why" to her.  Honestly I would not have guessed at her reaction some years before this, but a mother's instinct has served in this case.

She was more than accepting of my decisions and wished only that more mothers took the measures I've taken. She enjoyed the thought of a boy being made to wear frilly bloomers to improve his manners, so we were, and are, of like minds and she's taken over much of the responsibility I once had and, for the record, with my blessing. If I've had any regrets, as he prepares go off to college, then it's that I didn't start this disciplinary process sooner - or find a way to apply it to his father.

In closing I can only attempt to express what your site has meant to my son, and thank you for that. I can only hope that other mothers out there find their answers as easily as I've found mine. Please keep up your excellent efforts, and accept this letter as part of grateful thanks.
Yours truly,

Mrs. Sandy S.

There is no reason why a teenager under some form of petticoat control can't have a girlfriend who understands and empathises with the situation. Certainly any boy in this position will be very well-mannered and easy to handle when the two go out together.

I bet he does better at his tertiary studies than he would have without the training that you have given him.
Susan