This charming illustration was emailed to me by a reader. I wrote back asking if any more pictures were available, but she did not reply. If she is reading this issue, please send me some more pictures of Jimmy. There is no doubt that he is every 'Petticoat Discipline Monthly' reader's idea of a sweet, well-behaved little boy.
It is certainly good to be back after a considerable and much-needed break. Partly it was due to the socialist revolution which left the factory in the hands of Miss Gribble for the best part of a month. It turned out that poor Angus, who is getting on in years, had been unable to put up much defence, and I found him nearly unconscious in the gatehouse, gently cradling a bottle of Glenturret. 'I only buy it for rubbing on because of my arthritis Miss MacDonald, you know that', he whispered. 'There were just too many of t'em. Like the Clyde Shipyards durin' the General Strike it was'.
I understand that Miss Gribble's initial desire was to be just one worker amongst many, and to always bow to the wishes of the collective, but this all changed when it turned out that the shop floor wanted to continue publishing Petticoat Discipline Monthly, with all its imperialist and reactionary overtones, rather than The Official Organ of the Wishes of the People and Workers of Grimsby, and their Friends in the World Movements for International Socialist Unity, even though Miss Gribble had announced that there was a strong and growing demand for the new publication in Pyongyang.
Miss Gribble then assumed an unexpectedly dictatorial role, which apparently made her an even greater martinet than I had ever been. Deciding that the spirit of the revolution had been betrayed, a small group of counter-insurgents stormed my office, in which Miss Gribble had enthroned herself, and won back petticoated.com for its rightful owner. The brave staff members who led the assault have been promised the munificent award of free workplace coal for an entire year.
I was able to return to Grimsby from my brother's house in Aberdeen, where I had felt like an exiled Russian princess living on bread and weak tea in 1920s Berlin. Miss Gribble is also back in her usual place behind the tea trolley. A wheedling call from Tony Blair himself convinced me that if wildcat strike action to flare up across the whole north of England it would not only be very bad for his own standing, but would imperil the economy of the whole country. So to settle things down I had to accept Miss Gribble back in her usual position on the staff. I understand that there is a damehood under consideration, because Mr. Blair does owe me quite a lot. I hope he keeps his word.
I have received some excellent letters while the site has been down, and there are two special articles by Baby Janet. Saffy is still working on the library, and has hung a copy of Arnold Bocklin's weird and moody painting, 'The Isle of the Dead' on the library wall, in keeping with the dark, gothick atmosphere of this little-visited part of petticoat headquarters here in Grimsby. Extraordinarily enough, Saffy is now so immersed in his arcane curatorial work that he was quite unaware of the brief existence of the People's Democratic Republic of Grimsby. He was amazed when I showed him the newspaper headlines.
The magazine will be published every second month until the end of the year. Next year it will return to monthly publication, but I need to recover fully.
While I was recovering, so many readers asked if there was anything that they could do. The magazine is primarily for correspondence: I need letters from you...without correspondence on petticoat discipline the magazine cannot survive. It is a help to send your letter through the grammar and spelling checker before emailing it on.
Moreover, I always need petticoat discipline letters from the past, in order to bring readers the very best of petticoating correspondence. If you can find the time to retype a letter from the past and e-mail it to me, I would be very grateful. It is of inestimable help to the magazine.
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Here are some precious spring and summer babies looking lovely in their gingham sunbonnets. If you would like to write to 'Petticoat Discipline Monthly' and tell me your birthday, I will make sure that it is on the cover of the appropriate issue.
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