Dear Miss Susan,

I would like to write to you about some recent experiences in my household, and I would be very interested to hear your comments, which always carry a good deal of old fashioned wisdom. My children have always been told, from the age of about twelve or so, to put their dirty clothes in the wicker laundry basket for me to wash. I am a single mother (of good family) and I work, so I do not have the time to be going through their rooms picking up clothes that need washing.

The two girls do this quite happily, but my 16 year old son just wears his clothes long past the point when they should be thrown in the wash, and even then just leaves them on top of his chest of drawers. I was at my wit's end, until things came to a head in January. We were supposed to meet some relatives at a restaurant for lunch, something my son did not wish to attend anyway. I wanted everyone to be nicely dressed, and was furious to discover that he had no clean underwear to wear. He seems to think that the clothes washing and drying just gets done all by itself, and doesn't even think that somebody is doing it for him.

His sister Anne came up with the solution. She brought me a pair of her spotlessly clean pink cotton knickers, and said perhaps he could wear these. I agreed at once, and told him he would have to wear them, as he had nothing else to wear. He refused, and tried to say that he would stay at home, but I would not hear of it. He knew he had to come, so he sullenly took the knickers to slip them on, although he wouldn't let any of us watch.

He wore the girls' underpants for two days while I caught up with the washing. During those two days he certainly seemed more subdued, and showed greater courtesy towards his sisters, and it was Anne and Cynthia (his name is Jeremy) who pointed out that there was a sale on at Marks and Spencers, and that perhaps he might benefit from some new additions to his underwear drawer. I was all for it, and took out enough money from my bank account so that the girls would not run short. The two girls came home with armfuls of pretty, full-cut cotton knickers, not lacy, but in girlish colours such as pink, peach, and baby blue, as well as white. There were also soft pink and white girls' spencers to replace his singlets.

With great ceremony all his boys' underclothes were taken outside and thrown in the incinerator. And when he came home he was firmly told that under the new regime he must put his undies in the clothes basket after two days at the most. And he was told another thing. His male underpants had always had marks on them because boys never seem to take enough care when they have finished going to the loo. This had annoyed me for years, but now he was told that if his new girls' underpants were marked in any way, it would be back into nappies like a baby. His sisters tried to hide their giggles, and Jeremy looked very crestfallen.

Of course he did have another lesson to learn. He needed to be taught that you didn't just throw your clothes into a hollow tree trunk so that the fairies in fairyland would wash them. From now on, he would do all the household washing and ironing. He was bought an apron, and a full length plastic pinafore to go on over the apron, very like the plastic pinnies that little girls used to wear when they were playing with their paintbox or something similar. I made it, and it was quite pretty, with raised frills at the shoulders and a pattern of purple and yellow pansies on it.

Naturally he had to take special care with our underwear. I must confess that I had simply used the machine on 'Gentle' cycle, but he was told that my and his sisters' underwear (and his own of course!) were to be washed and rinsed by hand with special tenderness, using 'Softly' laundry liquid. I don't join in, but I am afraid that the girls tease him to distraction while he is out in the laundry busily doing the washing - playing with and straightening the frills on his pinafore, tickling him while he tries to attend to their panties, and sometimes pinching his bottom. Another trick of theirs is to leave their panties and other unmentionables all over the bedroom instead of putting them in the laundry basket, just like he used to do. Of course he has to find them all, and he is forbidden to complain about this.

I examine his panties now and then to make sure that they are clean, and I must say that he is keeping them spotless. Cynthia said she was passing his bedroom and peeked through the hinge side of the door, which wasn't quite closed. She saw him putting what looked like a nappy folded into a rectangle into the bottom of his girls' underpants, so he is making quite sure that they pass inspection. So to all 'Petticoat Discipline Monthly' readers who are proud of how well they have disciplined their husbands or sons…beat that. My son bought himself a pack of nappies without even being made to do so!

He has to do the washing at least twice a week, and always on Saturday, which keeps him out of mischief. Once the clothes are done, he puts them in a wicker laundry basket and wheels them out to our backyard to hang them on the line. Of course he is forbidden to remove his apron or protective pinafore, and you can always see the curtains move as the neighbours have a good look. One has even asked if she can 'borrow' him to do her Sunday wash, but I said no, as I want him to keep up to date with his school study.

When the clothes are dry, they must be ironed and folded with great care, and then put back in the right drawers. He is so well trained now that when he is out he looks for things to improve his washing performance. Last week he brought home some special sachets, which can be added to the water when washing delicates, to give them a lovely lavender scent. He now uses this for all our undies, including his own.

He really has become mummy's dear little laundry maid, and no mother could take the dainty care in washing soft underclothes as he does. And I have done it without any petticoats or frills: his underwear is that of a girl admittedly, but it is quite plain, except for tiny little bows at the neck of his spencers. I will be interested to see your comments, and I am hoping for comments from readers.

Ms D.B. (Canterbury)

Congratulations are in order once again, as I am sure all readers will agree. Ms D.B. has effectively solved one of the worst problems with males: their insensitivity, indeed sheer ignorance, of the work of washing and ironing clothes. A year or two ago I read in the paper about a study which claimed that men, by nature, will never do the ironing. It generated a great deal of protest, and all readers of 'Petticoat Discipline Monthly' must know that this is utter nonsense. Petticoating, even of a mild degree, can accomplish anything.

The letter hints that Jeremy has come to enjoy his laundry maid role, despite his sisters' impish teasing (but to have to endure that with patience is an excellent discipline in itself). I am sure that he does enjoy it, that is the wonder of prolonged petticoating. And of course, even though he is too young presently to marry, in the future any sensible girl will grab him as soon as she has an opportunity when she sees how submissive and well trained he is!
Susan