Dear Nanny Susan,

It is about time that a magazine like yours featured on the web, and I applaud your efforts to introduce discipline into the household once again. I would like to share my experience with you and your readers: hopefully it will encourage other females to take a firm hand and sissify their spouses.

Like most men today, my husband thought he was the master in our household, sure he was for a time the major breadwinner, but that is where he thought his responsibilities stopped. He expected me to prepare his food, and clean and tidy his clothes, and he thought the world revolved around him.

One day when my old friend Janice came to see me with her adorable baby girl, I complained about my lot to her, noting that David was more of a handful to take care of than Baby Katie - I did everything for David that Janice did for her daughter, except change his nappies. Janice giggled at that, then she suggested that maybe I should put David into nappies too, it would show him just how childishly he was behaving. We both laughed, saying that he certainly deserved such humiliation, but the idea of David wearing nappies was preposterous, he would never allow it, no matter how appealing it sounded to me.

But the image of David crawling around in nappies would not leave me, and then an opportunity presented itself to allow me to put the ideas that I had thought of to humiliate my husband into practice. David's secretary rang; she told me that David was embezzling from my father's business, and that I should know. If Father had found out he would have had David jailed and would cut me out of his will, because he had never liked David, and only took him into the business on my insistence.

When I confronted David on his indiscretions, unbelievably he broke down and cried like a big baby. He begged me not to tell Father, he dreaded going to jail, so I knew then that I had him just where I wanted him. I told him I would consider not reporting him on condition that he return all the stolen funds, and that he sign a confession which I would keep locked
away in a safe, to be produced in the event of him not complying with his new status in the household. The poor fool readily agreed, thinking he had escaped a term behind prison bars, little did he know that he was destined to a life time sentence behind bars...playpen bars.

Over the next few weeks I visited my dressmaker, ensuring that my instructions for David's new wardrobe were carried out to the full. She and her assistants, were beside themselves with hilarity when I told them who the adorable outfits were for, and of course the fool who would soon be wearing them would be taken along to thank them for their efforts. While David's new clothes were being made, I had decorators prepare the spare bedroom for my 'new arrival'. Having seen Baby Katie look so adorable in her frilly baby panties and frilly frocks, I decided that David should be dressed the same, and that his new nursery be that of a baby girl, so the spare bedroom was painted in all shades of pink. A joinery firm soon manufactured a sturdy cot, playpen and high chair, all big enough to accommodate David, and all in delicate baby pink. Soon all was ready, and I rang Father to tell him that David would be taking an extended leave, My father was only to glad to see David relieved of his duties, apparently he was useless at work too.

David's face was a picture when he arrived home early, saying my father had put Paul, his hated rival, into his position, while David had been granted indefinite leave. He asked me if I had reported him to Father. I replied not yet, but if he did not do exactly as he was told, then he would be locked away by the end of the evening. Whether he was locked away in a cell or a nursery was his choice...only he did not know that just yet.

I insisted that he retire to the bathroom, where I had run a scented bath for him. He was told he was to got into it, and he was to use my hair removing cream on all of his slim body. He meekly complied, with only a murmur about losing his body hair. Once I had dried him I then led him to his new room. His face was a picture. But instead of trying to assert himself, he burst into tears and begged me not to put him into a nursery. His protests were soon silenced by a slap on his bare hairless legs, followed by a pink dummy, which he dutifully sucked while I prepared his nappy. Floods more tears ran down his face as I securely pinned the humiliating white towelling nappy around his waist, followed by a pair of very frilly baby pants. His petticoats, frock, anklets and baby shoes soon followed, along with an adorable bonnet. Oh what a sight he looked as he sat on the floor of his playpen, legs akimbo displaying his pretty frillies, and so very obviously nappied! Any sympathy I might have felt evaporated when he wet his nappy later that evening - he did not even tell me that he wanted to use the bathroom, so it was obvious to me that he wanted to be a baby. It was then and there that I decided to turn him into a baby full time, to see if I could actually regress him back to babyhood.

I can now proudly say that I have achieved all that I set out to do. David...or 'Baby' as he is now known, acts like any other 18 month old baby, he crawls, he cries, he gurgles and he wets his nappies. He is still mortified by his position, of course, especially when I show him off to our friends. He is especially embarrassed when Katie comes to see him; she is 8 years old now. David shared the playpen with her for a while, but while she was promoted out of nappies, David remained in his, and even at that young age Katie seemed to realise how humiliating it was for him to be left behind by a growing toddler. Katie often brings her school friends round to laugh at Baby, and she tells them that they were babies together, but that while she has grown up, Baby never will. They never fail to reduce him to tears, and he is a whimpering wreck by the time he is put into his cot, usually at about 7 o'clock.

There have been so many hilarious moments in David's new life as a baby. (for me, not for him) and I will write again to tell you of them, should your readers express an interest. But for now I would wholeheartedly recommend putting any errant male back into baby clothes, with the addition of sweet baby frocks and adorable bonnets, and of course those hated nappies!

Yours, Melissa (London)

Yes I agree, Melissa, he is much better off imprisoned in petticoats than imprisoned in Penshurst. Your letter is interesting, because many, many psychological profiles have shown that the silly male who embezzles is not really a criminal type, but just a male with an over-inflated ego, a sure sign of immaturity and babyishness. This makes your punishment even more appropriate.

Please do explain to little Katie and her friends why he is being disciplined like this, otherwise it will look somewhat peculiar. But it does give her an idea of how males can be quickly put in their place if they are making a nuisance of themselves, which should be of value to her in later years.

Susan