Please could you give me some advice regarding my 21 year old son in law. My daughter purchased some lovely leather gloves for his birthday several months ago, and already they are in a tatty condition. I think he enjoys biting the ends and picking at the threads and generally gets them dirty. The last pair he owned was lost. He does not seem to show respect in this matter when berated, and I really would like to take him down a peg or two, so we would like to get some ideas to teach him a lesson in respect and somehow shame him.
 
Another bad habit he has picked up is that when we talk, he sarcastically lisps, mocking me, which I hate. I would be grateful if you could help me.
 
An Unhappy Mother-in-law

At that age he obviously has not been married very long, and so your daughter and you need to establish your authority as soon as possible. This will lead to less bother later on. He is obviously very immature, and his bad manners towards you are unconscionable. Young husbands should have the greatest respect for their mothers in law.

Biting at the ends of his gloves is a very babyish habit, and a dummy or pacifier would certainly be of help there, at least when he is at home. Really, it sounds like he is not old enough to wear gloves yet, from what you have said about his having damaged them and lost a previous pair. Are you a good knitter? I would take away his gloves and knit him a few pairs of woollen mittens in pink or white, with ribbon ties. Even better, if he is wearing a coat to work in cold weather, sew the mittens onto a ribbon and thread it through the arms and the back of the coat - as you know, this is a useful trick employed so that little babies don't lose their mittens. He will then have to go to work with his hands in his pockets, which will make it difficult when he has to pay the bus fare, but that is all part of the punishment. Even if he manages to tuck the mittens up the sleeves, just knowing that they are there will make him behave better in the future. He can wear mittens all the time at home, and even in bed at night, which would be an excellent discipline.

Imitating your speech patterns is dreadful behaviour, and one of the letters in this issue - number 2 I think - suggests a reliable remedy for this sort of disrespect. Throw away all his male underpants and inform him that from now on he will have to wear your discarded bloomers and other winter undies at all times of the year. We all know what part of the body gives the most trouble in 21 year old young husbands, and I would suggest you read my comments to the letter 'Petticoat Humiliation' in the February issue. Something like that would deflate him very quickly, if you will pardon me. With a male restraint on, fully controlled by your daughter, and your bloomers, he should quickly learn that unless he treats you with the utmost deference and respect, then he can forget about the normal pleasures of married life.

I think that you will find that he is a very different husband once the two of you have taken him in hand. Let me know how these suggestions work.
Susan