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Dear Helga, I am very pleased that you were able to include my account of Petticoat Domesticity with Edward, "Nicola's Sissy Husband", in your January 2008 edition. Not only should I like to describe more in the hope that readers of PDQ may wish to learn, one year on, how our home life continues to develop, but I would also appreciate the advice and criticism of readers who feel able to comment on my approach. Within a petticoated and strictly disciplined marriage like ours, it seems fundamental that ordinary sex is out of the question. Without intercourse the husband's temptation to interfere with himself will increase and, in Edward's case, he was addicted to stimulating himself while viewing lewd or perverted images on the internet. In other words, although the modern view may be that masturbation is harmless, it is obvious to me that self-abuse corrupts the mind and damages relationships. Despite knowing this practice to be totally repellent and demeaning to women, he was totally unable to desist. Moreover, because his disapproval of masturbation is equal to or perhaps greater than mine, he used to suffer from persistent feelings of guilt and shame. Talking openly about self-abuse came as a considerable relief to Edward, but this alone did not change his entrenched habits, and it was only after I took practical steps to eliminate his perverted misconduct that things began to change for the better. Now that Edward has accepted an early retirement offer from his old employer, he is able to devote himself fully to my domestic requirements and to my personal needs. He has a heavy daily schedule which involves making and clearing away breakfast, cleaning the house, doing all the laundry and ironing, and preparing dinner, all while dressed as a female Victorian household servant. He changes into male clothes, worn over his regulation chastity foundation garments, to go shopping or running other errands although I have been thinking about requiring him to wear gender ambiguous attire such as ladies trousers with a side zipper and white frilly or satin blouses. Whilst discipline is an important component of our petticoat relationship, we know that love, devotion, and affection must come by choice, not force. We love each other very much, and with the imposition of male chastity, our love has grown ever stronger. As my use of petticoat domination has increased, we know that a return to some form of standard marital relationship will never happen. Despite the pain and frustration Edward often seeks my reassurance that I remain implacably opposed to unauthorised orgasm and that I will always ensure that his chastity is permanent. Even when the discipline is more of a punishment, it is still my act of love toward my husband, and Edward's accepting the pain and living with the frustration is his act of love towards me. A good example is how I generally feel comfortable with his periods of arousal when we are alone together. However I absolutely cannot abide his urge to rub the bulge which still appears through his girdle and corselette. Because I cannot supervise him constantly, this tiresome tendency needs to be extinguished using additional safeguards. Nowadays we are probably all aware of those Muslim cultures in which men keep their wives under strict control. I have adapted some of those ideas and practices to prevent any misbehaviour or insubordination, beginning with the Burqa. This is a restrictive traditional garment which covers its wearer literally from head to toe, leaving just a lace grille through which one can see out. It has no need of slits for hands or arms because Edward's are usually confined inside the garment. To achieve this I have created a simple device, made out of four loops of broad velcro straps, sewn together to resemble two figures of eight. The longer (inner) straps go around the very tops of both thighs and the shorter (outer) straps fasten around both wrists. This restraint keeps Edward's hands frustratingly close to the bulge but provides complete protection from touching or rubbing forbidden parts. At such times I like to judge how desperate he can get, especially since I consider his frustration an indispensable part of the training process. On those evenings that he is unable to settle using the thigh to wrist straps on their own, I might pull down his pantie girdle and insert a small inflatable butt plug before fastening him back into the girdle and pantie corselette. Not only does Edward find this humiliating, but it is a rectifying procedure during which his arousal declines as the discomfort caused by my inflating the plug gradually increases. The state of despondency which such helplessness can engender often makes him tearful, itself part of a strict petticoat training to extinguish his loathsome sexual compulsion. Although I know that these tears are a necessary part of his corrective retraining process, I find it hard to listen to Edward weeping. Therefore, to reduce these sounds, I lift the burqa, fill his mouth with a large gag, and cover his head with a hood made out of double layered black satin, before replacing the burqa. Such discipline has therefore become an important component of our authoritarian relationship. I believe strongly that a woman should chastise her sissy husband in much the same way that a concerned mother punishes the child she loves. Even when the discipline is more of a punishment, it is still an act of love. Love, devotion, affection, and intimacy can only come through choice and never by force. Nicola Thank you for your letter Nicola. I hope our readers are able to learn from your experience and though they might not agree with all of it, I'm sure they can agree that love, devotion and affection are paramount to a long lasting relationship. Helga |