from Pam

Dear Helga,

You are so kind to write back to me. Thank you. It made me feel a little better knowing that Tom Cruise also wore girl's clothes as a child.

What I need to replace for my daughter is mainly play clothes, trousers, skirts and tops. She will also need school blouses, trousers and a skirt for school, which I cannot afford to buy until after the Easter break. For the first time, my son needs play clothes and school clothes at the same time. My son has split two pairs of shorts in a week because they are too small and it looks as if his tops have shrunk in the wash. They both seem to have grown at the same rate in the past twelve months and I just haven't noticed up to now. I suppose that I have had too much on my plate.

I have given the matter a great deal of thought and have fought with myself over and over again. The fact is that I have no choice but to use some of my daughters' clothes for my son. This situation upsets me immensely but I know that it is all I can do to ensure that both children have clothes that fit them.

Incidentally, my daughter's name is Olivia and my son's name is Sam. My son will need to wear Olivia's play clothes and eventually her school clothes. That doesn't include the skirt of course.

It's such a relief that I have you to discuss this with. You may find my replies erratic from a timescale perspective. This is because I have several jobs. I will reply as soon as I can, so please be patient.


Thank you for your letter Pam. Many famous men did, even a US president, they're just clothes. I can sympathize with your situation and know myself how fast they can grow, I'm a mother as well. I also understand your hesitation and reasons for your mental struggle over this.

You could, when buying clothes for Olivia get what could pass for unisex knowing that at some point Sam will be wearing it, a tee shirt is a tee shirt, no sex to it. Perhaps you, when you can find the time, describe the clothes in more detail.

I hope I can help, I feel for you and your children, lets see what we can do to make it easier for all concerned. I also understand how limited your free time must be and so of course I will be patient as needed.


Return to Index
Letter 5