from Steve

Dear Auntie Helga,

You may recall some time ago I wrote to you about how my meanness and nastiness towards my dear wife, Rachel, was countered by her loving affection towards me. My appallingly poor attitude extended, unfortunately, towards other women. She made me see the error of my ways by having me wear female lingerie at all times even when at work although none of my colleagues knew about this. During the evenings and at weekends she had me in dresses or in skirts and tops at pain of possible divorce. She later told me that she would never have gone through with this threat. Eventually I grew to enjoy this alternate lifestyle. I found that I simply could not suffer from anger or stress while feminised.

Life would have continued for us with this vast improvement in our relationship until a wonderful, yet tragic, turn of events took place which improved it even more. Something even now I find it almost impossible to believe. I feel that when I wake up each morning I have pinch myself that yesterday was not a dream. Why should I be the recipient of such good fortune when, for so so long, I had been completely obnoxious.

Rachel's elderly godfather died. Her mother had cooked and cleaned for him in his old age. He spent Christmas and birthdays with Mother. He had no siblings and being gay he had no children. Mother had already died when he also passed away and left Rachel his home, a large mansion with an extensive attached tract of land where he had cared for his poorly mother until her death. This enabled us to move in there and to sell our own house which left us comfortably off.

Almost simultaneously the company for which I worked was bought out by a conglomerate. After discussing my options with Rachel I agreed to accept the handsome 'golden handshake' package on offer and I retired permanently from work. I was, however, asked by the new company to carry out consultancy work for them at home at a generous remuneration. We sold some of the land surrounding the bequeathed house to a firm of housing developers which gave us, with everything else, a very healthy income. Moreover, I was now almost totally 'en femme'.

Rachel sat me down one day and told me that my attitude towards her and her girlfriends had vastly improved and even they had passed favourable comments on the change. For them to see me in dresses or skirts was no longer a cause for merriment and they accepted me on an equal basis. I admit that I was still racked with guilt over my earlier behaviour and did not deserve such kindness. Women are truly wonderful, warm and loving creatures.

Rachel said that I seemed a lot happier in dresses and asked if I would consider gender reassignment surgery (GRS). My love for Rachel led me to ask if it would make her happy. When she said that it would I told her that there could be no argument from me and we should go ahead. Now, in the UK such a procedure is often carried out for free under our National Health Service (NHS). Sometimes, but not always, the NHS will also perform for free facial reconstruction surgery to feminise the features by making the nose smaller and the chin, cheeks and forehead less pronounced. The Adam's Apple can be reduced to make it less prominent which in turn raises the pitch of the voice. Unfortunately, there is no procedure available to reduce the size of the hands and feet.

To qualify for such treatment the applicant must provide evidence of a serious and pressing psychological need for GRS, not just a desire. The applicant must then live for a minimum of two years in role. Hormone treatment usually commences after the first of those two years followed by GRS when the applicant has proved his commitment. By the grace of God we now had sufficient funds of our own to seek private treatment within weeks.

I have now undergone GRS. We decided that I had no need of a phallic nerve that is formed into a rudimentary clitoris. This is not an issue for me as Rachel decided on my behalf that as many women derive no satisfaction through the sexual act then I shouldn't. I fully concur with this. I now have a vagina and 'D' cup breasts and a more feminine countenance.

Because of our favourable financial situation Rachel was also able to engage a coach who took on film and TV work (no pun intended) and who specialised in teaching men whose acting roles necessitated them to walk, talk and move like women to do so convincingly. After a couple of months I was moving much more gracefully.

Ever since having me dress as a woman Rachel had trained me in the art, and it is an art, of applying make up. Only Rachel's friends are aware that I was once a man. When we moved into the new house our new neighbours naturally assumed that I was Rachel' s husband. Now that he is no longer on the scene she explains that the man was her husband but he left after she started a lesbian relationship with her girlfriend - me! So now we are the two gay girls from next door. We are so fortunate that not one of our new-found friends and neighbours displays any element of homophobia towards us. Thank goodness that I had everything that was necessary to change. But without doubt the most important factor of all was my beloved Rachel.

Men. When you may be forced into femininity just accept it with good grace. Believe you me it is for the best. The ladies have only your best interests at heart. Parts of it may be shaming or humiliating but you have brought these aspects on yourself.


Thank you for your letter Steve. You are so fortunate that she allowed you to remain in her life. Welcome to the female side, good to hear you went all the way.

Auntie Helga

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Letter 9