from Martha

Dear Helga,

After being introduced to your monthly online magazine by a friend a couple of years ago I decided to write of my experience with my husband Bernie.

Bernie, although I loved him for many years was always very aggressive about sex. I love sex, but not aggressive and sometimes rough like he liked it. I prefer the more gentle approach and I must add I prefer oral, both giving and receiving. However, even with giving him oral and yes even swallowing he was never satisfied. He just wanted to ram his thing into me both front and back.

A while back I had a discussion about this with my Doctor, Julie. I have known her for many years both as my doctor but a very close friend socially and in private as well. Yes I have also had a very close personal relationship with her. Bernie never knew of my relationship with Julie however he did go to her as her patient and always referred to her as his Lesbian doctor. Julie never attempted to hide the fact that she really had no use for men in a sexual way but was a very good Doctor and liked men as patients because they knew she was a good doctor and respected her.

Getting back to my discussion with her. She was extremely sympathetic and asked me what I would like. I explained that there must be a way to slow Bernie down and change his aggressive nature and make him more understanding towards my needs. Julie suggested that perhaps counseling might help but he would have to agree with a positive attitude and also express a willingness to change. We both knew that would not happen. The other option was medication that would slow down his libido. Julie and I spoke for some time about various meds including female hormones. We both agreed that because of his attitude these meds would have to be given to him without his knowing. We also discussed the short and long term effects of such a plan such as;

A slow and progressive change in his attitude possibly to the point of him becoming submissive rather than aggressive. A slow and progressive change in his body, possibly becoming more feminine and even developing breasts.

Also, she emphasized that within weeks Bernie will find it harder and harder to get an erection and his ejaculatory fluid would become less and quite clear.

The more we talked the more "excited" I became. Julie then said she would prescribe a combination of estrogen and progesterone as well as a testosterone blocker for him, but first he must undergo a complete physical, including all the necessary blood tests.

It was near his annual checkup time so Julie gave him all the tests and whatever else was necessary to ensure he would suffer no negative effects from the medications. Julie found him physically in very good health and determined that he would tolerate the female hormones and testosterone blocker without adverse effects.

I started emptying the little capsules into his drinks or food ever day as Julie prescribed. I could not believe the change. Within a week Bernie showed slight personality changes and after a couple of weeks he seemed a little less interested in sex. To make sure the changes were real I even initiated sex a few times expressing my willingness to satisfy him in any way. That night it was good sex as he was less aggressive but as usual he was reluctant to give me oral. After about six weeks the changes in Bernie were obvious, he was certainly less interested in sex and even told me he was having trouble getting and keeping an erection, off course I already knew that. On his next visit to Dr. Julie he complained to her about his increasing inabilities. Julie told him that it could just be pressure from his work or even that as he was getting older his system was just reacting accordingly. Amazingly he accepted her diagnosis.

My life was now much more pleasant especially when Bernie, full of guilt offers to give me oral. It was wonderful and he told me later he really enjoyed it even though he did not get sexual satisfaction from it but he got great mental pleasure from making me happy.

After several months there was a noticeable change in his body, his hips seemed to be getting rounder and his pants were getting tighter. There were also these lovely buds developing on his chest. One night we had a chat and he told me how he felt his body and mind was changing and expressed fear he was beginning to be less of a man. At the same time he to confessed to me that he liked the feeling of these changes even though his shape seemed to becoming feminine. I took my queue and told him I also noticed the changes and liked my new husband.

I then told him that perhaps he should try on a pair of my slacks to see how they fit. To my surprise he agreed and then kept looking at himself in the mirror like he was admiring his new shape. The slacks really did fit him nicely and really accentuated his rounded hips. I then teased him and said he should try on one of my tops to which he agreed. He just could not believe how it accentuated his budding breasts were beneath the thin fabric. Poor Bernie seemed to like it but was obviously embarrassed. I soothed him by telling him I liked "the new Bernie" and that since his body was changing perhaps he should be wearing clothes that would be more comfortable, at least around the house. He looked kind of shocked and embarrassed but yet agreed if it was just to be around the house.

The following day I went shopping and purchased him a couple of pair of women's slacks, a couple of skirts and dresses and several tops. I also bought him several pair of panties and some flat shoes. Returning home I gave him the panties and told him to put them on. He almost looked like he was going to cry but obeyed. I told him that since he looked better in women's pants that panties were just a natural addition. He admitted he did like the feeling. After dinner I told him I had another surprise for him. I took him to the bedroom and told him to strip.

Thinking he was going to get some sex he agreed but when I showed him a dress and told him to put it on he cried and begged not to. He knew the inevitable. He blurted out "you are trying to make me into a woman". I then told him the facts and ordered him to put on the dress. As he sobbed I told him the whole story, about Dr. Julie, about the hormones, about his now more than budding breasts, about his inability to get an erection and finally about my ultimate plan which I had been thinking about since I started giving him hormones. He was going to wear women's clothes around the house all the time and he will wear panties, girdle and stockings every day to work. He was due for early retirement in a month so I told him that when he retired he was going to transition to wearing women's clothes 24/7. OMG he said as he started to cry and begged me not to do this to him. Dr. Julie was right, he had become so submissive that all he could do was weakly object while obeying me.

By the time he retired I had a complete wardrobe for him, panties, bras, girdles, stockings, dresses, shoes etc. The first time I had him dressed completely in a dress and bra with low heeled shoes I was overly excited about how feminine he looked. I really believe he liked it too but was just not ready to admit it. I literally had to force him out of the house but if he was going to be kept in dresses he had to learn to go out in public. I helped him with his make up and hair which I had made him let grow to well below his ears, put on some jewelry and took him for his first public outing. He was so nervous and showed it but I was determined there was no going back. I was enjoying his new submissive, sissy role so much. He was fairly convincing I reassured him and started to call him Bernice to compete his change. Our first outing was quit hard for him as we both knew some people recognized him as a man in drag but other folks just seem to accept him as Bernice.

On his next visit to Dr. Julie he went fully as Bernice, however he was so embarrassed when the nurse called, Mr. Sorenson, the Dr. will see you now. There was one other person in the waiting room, a woman who just smiled at him. The nurse told him to undress and put on a gown which she gave him while complimenting him on his new look. Dr. Julie came in and told him to lie on the exam table and put his legs in the stirrups. He seemed quite humiliated as he had never done this before. Doctor Julie spread the stirrups and started to examine him.

She spoke out loud as she gave him a full medical including a digital exam and spent considerable time feeling his testicles for their size, sensitivity and for any swelling. Poor Bernice grimaced as she squeezed one and then the other. She then felt his nipples while commenting on how they were growing and how sensitive they were. She then told him that he had reached a point of no return. If he kept on the medications the changes would become irreversible we could stop them and after a period the changes to his body and personality would likely revert to where they were many months ago. Again, tears came from Bernice's eyes and he said that he did not want to go back and that he liked his new life and he now preferred women's clothing as he found them much more comfortable. Dr. Julie then asked him if he wanted to progress further into womanhood which after a few minutes he said yes, please, make me more like a woman, I love it. She told him to think very seriously about it and made an appointment for him in 30 days.

Bernie, now Bernice full time seemed to enjoy his new found femininity and even seemed to be proud of it. The first time he was seen by an old associate who immediately recognized him, Bernice was quite outgoing and just told him of his/her new found feelings of freedom. He did confide in me after some time that he wished I had done this to him years ago as he was just tired of trying to be that "macho man" that he thought everyone expected him to be.

At the next visit to Dr. Julie, Bernice expressed her desire to progress further and after a discussion between her, Dr. Julie and myself he said he would like to have his testicles removed. She agreed to do it but told him he should keep his penis, or at least what is left of it for future use should we all decide that reassignment surgery is right for Bernice.

It has been a few years now and Bernice and I still live in the same house. Most everyone has accepted him as Bernice although some refer to him as the sissy that used to be a man. Actually Bernice just takes that as a compliment and has said many time that she thinks many so called macho me would love to be like her. Bernice is a wonderful lover, loves to give me oral and does not ask anything in return. Bernice also encourages my occasional relationship with Dr. Julie.

Well, I think this letter has gotten quite long but I just felt I needed to tell of my experience of how to change a macho man into an obedient maid, servant, friend and gentle lover. Sincerely,

Toronto, Ontario

Thank you for your letter Martha, thank you so much for your delightful story of helping your husband to improve her life. I am so happy for you that it has worked so well


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