Dear Miss MacDonald,
Because the control of the male's sexual expression by the assertive woman has been a much neglected subject, I am very impressed by your website which I found by chance only quite recently.
The modern view may be that males playing their silly little games is harmless, but I cannot agree. Instead I consider any form of sexual self gratification to be a sign of gross moral weakness and a rather disgusting form of both bodily and spiritual self-denigration. Some men, I know, use pictures to augment their enjoyment, and I regard such behaviour as grossly disrespectful to women.
As the children of older than average parents, both my younger brother and I were brought up rather strictly. My mother was the main disciplinarian, and she would punish us using a hairbrush for minor misdemeanours, or the cane for major lapses. We belonged to a puritanical Christian community which emphasised the highest moral principles including the strictest premarital sexual abstinence. Sex was never discussed at home, and all I can ever remember her telling me was never to touch my private parts except to wash. I was never directly punished for playing with myself as such. However once my mother interrogated me about a teenage magazine which she had found hidden at the bottom of my wardrobe. Having admitted to impure thoughts about young men, she gave me a thorough hairbrush spanking and threatened a severe caning if she ever caught me doing anything naughty. For several years I struggled to resist, and have now acquired and successfully practised the necessary self-control over many years.
Ever since we first met, Graham, now my thoroughly subservient husband, has always adored me. Although no longer quite such a strict Christian myself, I hoped that any boyfriend or male partner of mine would not only respect my virginity, but also prove himself equally capable of abstaining from self gratification. Indeed he was my only boyfriend who really wanted to give this up in order to comply with my old fashioned values of the strictest premarital chastity.
I insisted upon his absolute honesty, and Graham would indeed own up to his sporadic transgressions. I tested his capacity to abstain to it's limits throughout our two year engagement and, of course, I did have to punish him on those occasions by spanking his buttocks with a hairbrush, just like my mother used to do to me.
Whereas Graham had some background of limited sexual experience with previous partners, I kept my virginity until the wedding night. Sadly, I have been really disappointed with such sexual activity as has occurred between us since then. Consequently, having found sex not only unexciting, but also a rather distasteful chore, I soon began to find excuses so as to avoid intercourse.
Graham soon grew increasingly frustrated, but he still worshiped me, and still wanted to please me in every way. In fact it was he who suggested wearing pantie girdles to protect against his lapsing into bad habits once again. As this seemed an excellent idea, I started Graham off with a simple pull-on control brief, but soon introduced him to firmer traditional pantie girdles with long leg and a boned high waist. In the early days he would wear two pantie girdles with a pair of ordinary tights in between in order to prevent access from below.
These were a great success, but Graham confided in me after the first month that greater protection was required if he was not to backslide. Preventing unauthorised access from the waist downwards, consequently involved Graham's wearing a pantie corselette over this combination. This arrangement was perfect so long as I could supervise him in person, but I worried about him during the times when I was absent.
Together we looked at internet websites which discuss and sell chastity devices, but none of them seemed either affordable or really secure. Instead we decided to refine Graham's girdle combination until we achieved the complete protection which we enjoy today. He now wears an extra firm pantie girdle which fastens at the side with a strong zipper. Then comes his American-style foundation garment called a pants liner, this is like a pull-on pantie girdle but has legs which go right down to mid-calf and fit so tightly that the legs cannot be rolled up above the knees.
On top of all this Graham has to wear a special pantie corselette each evening and overnight. In addition to its standard shoulder straps, I have added another strap which starts at the top of one corselette bra cup, runs around the back of his neck, and then attaches to the top of the other bra cup. This additional halter strap first prevents Graham from slipping his arms down inside the corselette. However, more importantly, the entire garment can only be put on or taken off by opening the crotch fasteners and pulling it, with my active assistance, over his body from above. Having also sewn on four steel D-rings - two to either side of the crotch hooks and eyes - the opening can be then secured shut using two small, or one slightly larger, padlocks to which I alone have the keys.
I cannot really overstate the sense of relief which I experienced when Graham agreed to wear this or a similar combination each evening and overnight, and later when we agreed to give up trying to have sex altogether. Nowadays we still share our large double bed, but cuddling and untroubled sleep are the only items on our nightly agenda. Graham wears a long Victorian cotton nightdress over his locked chastity corsets, and I usually wear an ordinary pantie corselette under my similarly enveloping nightdress.
My proudest invention is Graham's daytime chastity undergarment. Because the bra cups of an ordinary corselette could perhaps be visible when worn under ordinary male office clothes, I created a crafty alternative. The bottom half comes from an actual corselette, but I removed the top half with it's bra cups and replaced this with an alternative top half in the shape of a man's vest except that it is made out of girdle-strength lycra.
Apart from the occasional nocturnal dampening Graham has successfully adjusted to a life without any kind of private sexual release. I know that he would like to progress to being petticoated, but I am not that keen despite being very pleased with the results obtained by his wearing female foundation garments.
At present I allow him a fortnightly 'milking' which I control, and which he eagerly anticipates, and as a result he is invariably attentive to my every physical and emotional need. Consequently I have proposed to Graham that I would allow him to cross-dress at home so long as he would be prepared to give up his 'milking' treat. Anyhow negotiations are underway, and we must see what progress proves possible during 2001.
I hope that this letter is not too long, or too detailed. If your readers are interested to learn what develops between Graham and myself, I shall be delighted to write again in a few months' time. With best wishes for a prosperous New Year to you, your magazine, and your readers.
You are certainly right, as many readers have found, that female-controlled abstinence makes a man more loving and attentive, and leaves him in no doubt regarding who is in charge of the marriage. And toward this end, there is nothing to beat strong foundation garments.
Your long, voluminous
Victorian nightgowns sound very nice, especially with panty girdles being
worn underneath. Graham we need not worry about - if he feels frustration,
it will only make him a quieter and more attentive husband - just as long
as you are quite happy with the current arrangement.