You might remember that you published a letter by my boyfriend, Bobbie, in your Spring 2003 issue. You also suggested that you would like to publish letters from his sister and mother if possible. Well, I have below a letter from his sister Cate, with whom I am regularly in touch. I hope you will consider publishing it. I can also probably get a letter from his mother too if I go the right way about it, perhaps for the following issue...?
By the way, Bobbie and I think Paul Synott's art is very good, and very
appropriate for your publication. We hope you will be able to get
more of it for the future. Please do let me know if you are interested,
and I hope you are well.
Dear Miss MacDonald,
My nearly-sister-in-law, Bridget, suggested that I should write in to you to give you my views on my brother Bobbie's little petticoat preferences.
Bridget's shown me the letter he wrote to you, which you published in your Spring 2003 issue, headed 'Girly Day Discipline'. Your publication, by the way, is a very interesting magazine, I never knew that so many men were so taken by womens' clothes. It's also the first time I've seen anything in writing about Bobbie's reasons for liking to dress in womens' clothes, though he's talked about it with me and our mother many times.
I have mixed emotions on this, but I'll start at the beginning:
I remember that Bobbie was a pretty badly behaved kid quite a lot of the time. Mum frequently became fed up with him constantly being "naughty". She didn't like smacking him much, and when she discovered after the visit to my aunt's (which Bobbie wrote about, and which was just harmless playing around of the sort that all kids do) that he could be made to behave well by putting him in a tidy dress - well, it was a great solution!
When in a dress, Bobbie changed dramatically from being a badly-behaved boy to being generally a good, polite, well-behaved, and less raucous child. Mum was delighted, and it was great for me. Bobbie seemed OK with it. It was in all ways a perfect result. Now my mother wasn't changing Bobbie's sex or anything, she was merely putting tidier more delicate clothes on her son, because he knew he would be in trouble if he spoiled them. And so he was far more careful, he stopped rushing around breaking things and became generally a calmer boy. My dresses were made out of cotton, and so were his trousers - the cotton was just in a different shape, so I don't see that there's any big deal in Bobbie wearing different-shaped clothes and it having some psychological effect on him. I often wear womens' trousers and I don't want to be a man - God forbid!
Mum didn't like doing things by halves, and had a very particular eye for what looked good and what didn't, and that's why she later made him wear the whole outfit: my panties, my socks, my tights and my shoes. He looked great. I remember thinking, "Yay, I've got a little sister to play with!"
He was a good-looking boy and Mum wanted him to look good when dressed in a dress, just as she wanted him to look good when dressed in boys' clothes. She didn't want some hybrid. She liked me to be dressed well too. Boys' underpants just don't look good under a dress or a skirt, they are thicker and ruck up more, so they tended to show through. What's more, Mum wanted to make sure that he felt as delicate as possible, so my underwear it was for him too, on "girly days" anyway. They fitted him fine. He was less tempted to show off in that annoying way that I'm sure many little brothers have with their sister, and he looked better actually with a flatter front under his dresses, which hung properly as a result.
It was funny when he got dressed in the morning and Mummy had put out my stuff for him. You would see this rough boy pulling, say, a pair of yellow panties with frilly legs up his legs and over his little boyish willy. And suddenly you would see a sweet, very non-rough-looking yellow-knickers-clad child stepping into a bright, flowery dress. The boy had disappeared!
One thing Bobbie didn't say in his letter was that he used to be a bed-wetter, but that he never wet the bed when sent to bed in panties and a nightdress, not once! Mum was encouraged by this and put him to bed in a nightdress more often as a result. Bobbie knew that if he wet my pretty nightclothes as well as his bed he would be in serious trouble - with me as well as with Mummy.
I also owned a wonderful 'baby-doll' type kid's fun nightwear outfit with frills everywhere, and really puffy panties. Mum passed that on to Bobbie when I started growing out of it. He looked really darling in it. Bobbie always had good legs as a boy, no lumpy knees like some of his friends, and Mum used to sometimes put him to bed in it in summer. He looked so cute that Mum and I used to watch him jump into bed in his frilly top and fluffy panties and say something like, "Ah, haven't we got a cute well-behaved boy living in our house now."
Anyway of course I got a bit fed up when Mummy put him in my nice clothes more and more (what girl wouldn't?), so that was when Mum started passing him my cast-offs and buying me new things, which was brilliant!
However, I have never been able to accept that as a grown man Bobbie needs to wear women's clothes, especially right down to the underwear. Bobbie told me that he has tried to give up, but couldn't. Bobbie blames Mum (and even me) for making him like this. His attitude is just ridiculous. If he had been better behaved as a kid Mum wouldn't have had to dress him up at all. And so what if he wore panties and dresses because Mummy told him to then? She's not telling him to now, and he looks silly when he does. I often wear flatteringly cut ladies' pants, but I don't want to dress like a man or be a man.
He should stop being so self-indulgent and give his girlfriend a break. I've discussed it with Bridget often, and now she seems to have come to terms with it in her way. She's very flexible like that, which I suppose is good for Bobbie.
Some of our relatives know about it, which is embarrassing for me as his sister. If some of them know, I suppose all of them must know really. Half of them snigger about it and the others are sympathetic, neither of which I particularly enjoy.
My husband has never seen Bobbie dressed up thank God, but when Bobbie and Bridget come round, Bobbie always helps with washing the dishes and always puts one of my aprons on. This gives my husband a good laugh. After a meal, he would expect a man to chat with him in the sitting room while the girls did the dishes. Bridget seems to encourage it actually. It gets her off dishwashing duty, which she prefers to avoid, and she usually finishes up talking with Colin, while I clear up with my pinafored brother.
I have suggested to Bridget that she just ban him from 'dressing' in their house, but she told me that he couldn't do without it. And she says that he loves doing the household chores when dressed up. She thinks this is great, because it frees her up to do things. He does almost all the laundry apparently, and Bridget is very impressed because he washes all her lingerie by hand, and folds it up really nicely and puts it in her drawer.
Bridget has told me that they do have some 'systems' in their relationship which make it work for them; like, apparently she discourages sex when he's in girls' underwear or clothes, so he has to make a choice on that I suppose. On those nights they both go to sleep in their respective nighties or whatever, I presume.
Bridget has confided in me that although she fancies Bobbie, she sometimes lets her eyes wander a bit if Bobbie is in his girly state for a while. She tells Bobbie this though, just so he doesn't forget his masculine duties and neglect her too much. I'm sure Bobbie will see this letter, so I hope he doesn't mind me reminding him of this.
Bobbie doesn't want my advice or anything, but he is very lucky to have
such a gorgeous and understanding girlfriend as Bridget, so I hope he goes
on treating her well. She is so good to him, he would be very stupid
to lose her. I still think his whole fascination for girls' clothes
is totally unnecessary and I don't like how he blames it on childhood discipline.
However, he is insistent that it is what he wants, so what can I do about
It sounds like your own husband could do with
a dose of petticoat punishment, quite frankly. I think that you are being
a bit insensitive towards your brother's feelings - it is to be expected
that he would gain a permanent love for feminine clothes, and I am happy
that Bridget is more tolerant. If she can accept it then they will have
a very happy marriage. If your mother doesn't mind writing, then her point
of view would be interesting as well.