|
Dear Auntie Helga, I hope you will be interested in this letter I recently received from a lady who sought my advice regarding the disciplining of her errant husband. It is typical of the help I give. Regards Helen Good Dear Miss Good Please accept my thanks for your help in turning my husband Peter into a delightful little babykins these days he is completely unrecognisable from the unruly spoilt brat he once was. I have followed your advice to the letter. At 5pm exactly I run his bath and lay out his pyjamas. Last night he wore the yellow bunny rabbit pyjamas that you thoughtfully provided the material for. (It didn't take my mother long to sew them) After his bath I soon had him dressed ready for bed. Once he is wearing his jim-jams he must, as you recommend, be addressed by and answer only to his baby name. It was great fun, each of us devising a name and as you advised, we ended up putting them into a hat and making him "choose" his own baby name. Peter Peepeepants, Lindy Lollipops and Susie Sugar Plum were all excellent but my mother's suggestion, Peterkins Pyjamakins was the one that came out of the hat. (His baby bonnet actually). At first he was quite reluctant to answer to his baby name but luckily my mother spent twenty minutes with him draped over her lap while she persuaded him otherwise. Mother only has to take off one of her pink furry slippers and he rushes into my arms, fearful of a spanking. "Is Peterkins Pyjamakins fwightened of Mrs Slipper den?" She will tease, laughing as he clings babyishly to me while she brandishes her slipper mischievously. My sister never misses a chance to tease him either. She called around at 5.30 last night when of course he was already dressed for beddybyes. "Oh look at the ickle baby in his pwetty jim-jams, whoever could it be? Tell Aunty Susan what your name is sweetheart?" She asked. He shuffled his bunny slippered clad feet and turned beetroot red but Susan was prepared to persevere to get the response she wanted. "Peterkins Pyjamakins" he mumbled. "Oh dear, Aunty Susan knows you can do better than that let's try again shall we?" His eyes flickered from me to my mother. "Mummy or Nanny can't help you, now, what is your name?" "Please Aunty Susan my name is Peterkins Pyjamakins." The three of us howled with laughter while my husband stood in front of us wearing bunny rabbit pyjamas slippers. After he has kissed and waved night-night to Aunty Susan and Nanny, I take him up to bed at 6pm. As you so rightly said, Peterkins has benefited from a regular bedtime. He now sleeps in the spare bedroom. Nursery rhyme paper decorate the walls and apart from a soft pink carpet there is only a small child's bed and a chair that I sit on to read his bedtime story. I make sure the curtains are tightly closed so that no chink of daylight can intrude. Of course at first he was upset at having to go to bed so early but once our neighbour, Miss McPherson spotted him over the garden fence, sitting wearing teddy bear jim-jams and his baby reins whilst he sat on his pink baby rug one summer evening, We have heard not a murmur of objection. Miss McPherson failed to spot that his reins were tethered to the washing line! Before bedtime I pin him into his nighttimes nappies. Since you recommend two baby bottles of milk at bedtime it has become essential that he is securely nappied and protected with rubber pants. Once he is safely tucked into bed I pin the ribbon attached to his dummy to his pyjamas and pop the dummy into his mouth. Happily these day's he accepts it quite readily. I tuck his dolly, Flora Frillikins in beside him and spend ten minutes reading from his book of bedtime stories that my mother thoughtfully bought for Peterkins Pyjamakins birthday. Then it's lights out and off to sleep for Peterkins. As you suggested, at the weekend he is punished for any misbehaviour with childish spankings and put to bed immediately regardless of the time of day. Often on a Sunday when I return from my morning round of golf, I am met by a spanked, tearful, already pyjama clad Peterkins begging not to be put to bed at such an early hour. However on these occasions I always follow your advice and not overrule any decision made by my mother or sister or indeed any female who has reason to discipline Peterkins Pyjamakins. Once again thank you for your help in this most delicate matter. Yours sincerely Mrs K M Bartholomew Thank you for your letter Helen. Our readers are always interested in learning new techniques for training unruly husbands. Auntie Helga |