CORRESPONDENCE FROM MISTRESS ALISON
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A brief introduction is in order; Mistress Alison is a good friend and a very knowledgeable and experienced Mistress, she has also been a frequent contributor to PDQ. She is now available to answer questions from both Mistress and sissies alike, assuming a respectful tone of course. These email conversations may well be included at some future date in PDQ though a request for privacy would be respected. Feel free to write her at mistress-alison@petticoated.com and please don't waste her valuable time asking "where / how can I find a Mistress?"

Dear Mistress Alison,

My wife and I have talked about starting an FLR in the new year. In the meantime she asked me to look into it by reading as much as I can to know what I will be getting into. I will admit that it is my wife driving this idea more than it is me. Some of the reading I have done so far has led me to believe that most of the time it is the woman in the relationship driving this change. Some men have gone along then realized it wasn't for them while others liked the change. Knowing myself who is curious about new ideas however sceptical of having my wife control our relationship. I wanted to reach out to you to get a better idea of what kind of man do you look for that will be a good match for FLR? How do I know I am suited for it? My wife is a strong woman but then again I am be a challenge at times. Will my wife force me to adapt to the FLR or will me being me stop it from working for her?

I guess what I am saying is can any man be involved in an FLR? Does a man have to be naturally submissive or will the process make him that way? Can you tell I am concerned?

If you have time to reply to me that would surely help me understand more about what is expected of me and will I be able to do what my wife is looking for me to do?

Thank you,
Chuck

Dear Chuck

Thank you for your inquiry.

More and more couples are now entering into FLRs and what was once very much a niche style of relationship is now becoming more mainstream. Usually it is the woman who is the prime mover, rejecting the traditional 'love, honour and obey' role of housewife and mother and wanting to take control of not just her own life but also that of her partner. However, it is not exclusively the case and I get many letters from men asking me how they can persuade their wives to turn their marriage into an FLR. I have written extensively about this in past issues of PDQ and I suggest as a first step both you and your wife should read what I advised Catherine (December 2019) whose fiancé wanted an FLR; 'J' (May 2020) whose husband was a closet cross dresser; and Pippa (August 2020) who wanted to turn her marriage into an FLR and thought her husband might not cooperate. This will give you some idea of what's involved.

The essence of any FLR is that the man cedes all authority and control to the woman, who then makes all the major decisions, usually takes control of the family finances, and decides when, where and in what way they have sex; and he agrees to do whatever she tells him without argument or complaint. However, that it just the beginning and it usually leads to other things that are decided solely by the woman, the relationship becomes all about her and what she wants. This might sound like the kind of bargain only a fool would sign up to, but in most cases important things are discussed between them before the woman makes the final decision, and sex only when the woman is really in the mood for it becomes better sex, and the man is relieved of much of the tedious responsibility that would usually fall to him in a vanilla marriage.

For me enforced chastity is a sine qua non for any true FLR, not just to prevent the man from straying or pleasuring himself, but as something deeply symbolic of his acceptance of female authority. In an FLR it is his equivalent of a wedding ring and its presence is a constant reminder of his status and of his wife's power and supremacy.

Entering into an FLR is a big step and turning an existing, conventional, relationship into one is an even bigger step, so naturally you will feel apprehensive. Not just about what you will be relinquishing, but also of the unknown; where will your new relationship lead? You obviously love and trust your wife otherwise you would have refused point blank when she first mentioned it, you have even read up enough about the subject to aware of me and to have written for advice. You now have to trust her even more, and there is no more sincere way of demonstrating that trust and of how much you love her than by agreeing to an FLR.

As to answering your specific questions about the type of man best suited to an FLR, are you suited for one and does a man have to be naturally submissive; the true answer is that they are all irrelevant. If your wife, whom you describe as 'a strong woman,' decides she wants an FLR then that is what is going to happen. Any strong-minded and suitably determined woman can dominate almost any man she chooses. It is telling that you wrote that your wife asked you to 'look into it by reading as much as I can to know what I will be getting into,' not if I wanted to get into it. This suggests to me she has already made up her mind.

So, as I see it, you have just two options; resist her and fight against the inevitable with all the stress and unpleasantness this will create, or to accept that this is what she wants and sooner or later it will happen.

I think the sensible option would be to have another serious talk with your wife and tell her that if it is what she really wants then you will do it for her because you love her. Tell her from the day of her choosing (say January 1st 2021) you will accept that her authority will be absolute and that her decision final in all matters, and from that day forward you will be hers to command. Say that you will try your hardest to do whatever she wants in whichever way she wants, but now you know what's involved you suspect you may have difficulty, at least at first, in accepting this major change and will need her help. I think you will be pleased with her reaction.

If either you or your wife need further information or help then don't hesitate to write to me again.

Yours sincerely
Mistress Alison

Hi Mistress Alison,

Wow, thank you for the detailed explanation. I have to agree with you that my wife has already made up her mind even though she just seems interested. It is a big step which is why I did some reading and will read the information you pointed out below. I did read different degrees of FLR where the woman is always in charge except she can control what the husband wears. You know like she made him wear women's clothing or maid clothing. I don't see my wife going that far. When we talk is that a question I should ask? Is that a question my wife would answer?

Thank you,
Chuck

Dear Chuck

Don't try to second guess what your wife will or won't do. It's a pointless exercise even to ask her because she probably doesn't even know herself how far she is going to take you into this FLR.

The thing about having power, real power, is that it is not only erotic, but also addictive. I know of no woman who has experienced the power of being able to make a man do anything she wishes with a click of her fingers wanting to go back. No manner how gently they begin, all FLRs have a tendency to ratchet up as the woman grows more confident in exercising her power. What seems extreme and a complete taboo today could look very different a year hence.

That paragraph should excite you and also make you a little nervous, like standing on the edge of a high diving board. An FLR is a very special type of relationship which requires not just love and respect but also enormous trust. You are about to hand your wife the power to do anything she likes and by doing so you will be demonstrating, in the sincerest possible way, that you trust her implicitly not to abuse that trust. Tell her something like that when you have your talk rather than ask her questions.

I wish you both well for the future.

Yours sincerely
Mistress Alison

Thank you Mistress Alison................I read the stories you suggested so now I have a better idea of how an FLR will work. I will use the line about not to abuse the trust when we talk about it again this weekend.

Wish me luck

Dear Chuck

Whatever you do be respectful and let her know that you will do what she wants and as she orders because you love and respect her.

Good luck and do let me know how you get on.

Yours sincerely
Mistress Alison

Hi Mistress Alison,

I will do as you say. You have taught me more in a couple of emails than I knew a few days ago. It is starting to make sense why my wife wants to go FLR. Her personality tells me this is for her.

Yes, if you don't mind I will let you know how the conversation goes and January 2021 as well if you like.

Thank you,
Chuck Dear Chuck

Good boy. You're learning. Keep it up and everything will be fine.

Yours sincerely
Mistress Alison

Dear Mistress Alison

My wife started to buy a change of clothes for January 1st. When we talked about FLR it was to have her be the boss and not me the housekeeper. Well I thought I was going to keep the house clean yet not wear a housekeeper's clothing. My wife had other ideas while she ordered underwear, stockings , shoes and maid uniforms not for herself either. I'm not so sure I am up to do this for her at the level she has talked to me about implementing.

I will know more January 1st.

Have a great holiday season.

Thank you,

Dear Chuck

What you are experiencing is simply a bad case of first time nerves. This, is perfectly normal, think of how you felt the first time you ever got behind the wheel of motor vehicle, now you do it almost without thinking. Moving into an FLR requires a complete change of mindset, from now on your wife will be making all the decisions and you will be doing exactly as she tells you; it is not for you to feel whether you are up for anything or not, it is up to you to obey.

Your wife has obviously made up her mind and has your future mapped out for you. As from January 1st she will become your Mistress and you shall become her maid. You must accept this because there is no point in your arguing with her. Your role in life is henceforth to work hard for her and to please her, accept it with good grace and wear smile on your face to show her how much you love her.

Yours sincerely

Mistress Alison

Hi Mistress Alison,

You raised some good points while I am still figuring this all out in my head. My wife is all set to enter into a FLR as she has been shopping and also working on a contract in the office. She has told me nothing to worry about even though there will be many changes going forward. As a joke my wife told me to enjoy the last few days of freedom and to get out anything in my system so that we start with a clean slate. I am trying to keep an open mind while I listen to my wife talk about our new life together. She has joked about some of it to lighten the load so to speak. For example my wife told me I will love wearing a maid uniform more than I can imagine right now. The last few days I watch her get dressed to pick up some points. I'm not sure if I have learned anything but I'm paying attention.

Thank you for helping me see the other side of things.

Chuck

Hi Mistress Alison,

Happy New Year to you and family.

Today is my first day living under an FLR rule with my wife now in charge of my world. Over Christmas my wife added more clothing to my closet in the spare room then removed my manly clothing from her closet. I was able to wear my manly clothing until this morning, which is when that ended for good so I was told. My wife helped me get into one of my new maid uniforms before reviewing the day's activities with me. I do love my wife but this is not going to be easy for me. I can barely walk in high heel shoes. The clothing is not exactly comfortable to me either. No wonder my wife always took her heels off at home and her bra at times as well. She just laughed at me when I brought up the topics and told me in time it will all become natural for me. One other thing I was shocked to see was my wife lock my penis in a metal device called a chastity. I never heard about them before this morning. My wife called it a training device nothing more or less. I can tell you it is more than that to me. Alright I'm not complaining just venting a little. How long have you been a Mistress? How long has your sissymaid been serving you? I'm trying to learn more about how others live this way if you don't mind me asking questions.

Thank you,
Chuck

Dear Chuck

That really is excellent news and I know that 2021 is going to be a very special year for you and an even more special one for your wife.

Your second sentence said it all and I hope you do realise the extent of your wife's authority. She is indeed now in control of your entire world, everything, right down to the style and colour of the panties you wear, the height of your heels, and the shade of your lipstick. All decisions are now hers and you must obey them without complaint or question. Don't worry it's nothing like as frightening as it sounds, and many men actually enjoy being relieved of the stress of having to make decisions and act all macho.

In my reply to your first inquiry I told you, 'For me enforced chastity is a sine qua non for any true FLR, not just to prevent the man from straying or pleasuring himself, but as something deeply symbolic of his acceptance of female authority. In an FLR it is his equivalent of a wedding ring and its presence is a constant reminder of his status and of his wife's power and supremacy.' So you are being disingenuous when you say you've never heard of them before; naughty boy. But your wife has, very sensibly in my opinion, decided you shall be in chastity so what you think is immaterial, I hope you remembered to thank her for your little present. If not do so immediately after reading this.

I am a little surprised that you still signing yourself Chuck, a most unsuitable name for someone who says that manly clothes have now gone forever. Yesterday you were reborn as your wife's maid and with every new birth there shortly follows the choice of a name and a Christening. If your wife hasn't mentioned re naming you then perhaps you should, most respectfully of course, draw her attention to it. The day she starts using your new femme name might be an appropriate time to start addressing her as Mistress, a neat circularity symbolising your new roles in your new life together as Mistress and maid.

Remember, nothing worth having was ever attained easily and without effort. This is not going to be a stroll in the park, but the results, and pleasing your wife, will be worth it. Every biological woman found learning to walk in high heels difficult at first, it's one of the rites of passage of becoming a woman, like periods and learning how to put on your make up. There's an old French expression il faut souffrir pour 'tre belle meaning one must suffer in order to be beautiful.

Your wife may have other ideas, but the next thing you ought to be learning how to do is curtsy. How to perform one, when to do so and in what order if there are any other ladies present. A perfectly executed demure curtsy is the mark of a well trained maid. I would be happy to get kitty to send you details of this if your Mistress so wishes.

Now you have your little episode of 'venting' as you call it, and that is enough. It is all new and strange so I shall excuse you, on this occasion, but I do not wish to hear any more negative remarks. You may ask me anything you like and I shall do my best to help you cope with any difficulties and to improve, but what you doing is a wonderful thing that has no downside. Remember that, and remember all the time and trouble your wife has taken on your behalf, repay her with 100% effort and a cheerful smile at all times, you want her know how happy you are to be serving her as her maid, it is after all an enormous privilege. I tell all sissymaids to remember the acronym ODD; Obedience, Dress, Demeanour, get these three things right and everything else will follow naturally.

I met kitty at a Burns night (January 25th) supper and the connection was instant. She was, and is, the most naturally submissive person I've ever met, but it took some time before I, rather reluctantly at first, agreed to become her Mistress. In the beginning I struggled to be suitably dominant, just as you are struggling with your own new situation so don't think me unsempathetic, but I was fortunate in having good mentors, one of whom was Auntie Helga of this parish. They convinced me that kitty was serious in both her need to serve and her need for the strictest possible discipline, and once I started to act like a real Mistress, as opposed to just a pretend one, and saw the look of gratitude and love in kitty's eyes I began to feel like a real Mistress. Neither of us has looked back since and neither of us has ever had a scintilla of regret as we have both grown into our respective roles. A love story with a difference; but not one with a happy ending because there is no ending, it's a journey of discovery that we take together hand in hand with joy in our hearts.

Now you be a good girl and work hard for the Mistress you love and serve her well.

Please pass on my best regards to your Mistress and tell her I wish you both every success and happiness.

Yours sincerely

Mistress Alison


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