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Dear Auntie Helga, I am regular reader of your website and also get inspired by it. Thanks of such wonderful efforts you are putting for people like us across the world. I am writing my first letter to your which is my self story. I am staying at India in one of the Metro city. I live with my family consist of my parents and three elder sisters who are elder by 2,4 and 6 yrs to me. My dad is working with small factory and have low income so to survive he do ladies tailoring work at home and Mom supports him by stitching cloths. Here I describe how I got introduced by my female side. When I was of age around 5 yrs, I have done weird thing with my elder sister in result we have strong quarrel and which led my other two sisters to involve in.. When they come to know what I did, they decided to teach me lesson which to have long lasting effect, my one of the elder sister push me to lay on bed and get on me to sure I can not move then other sister hold my hands and head tight. Then my youngest sister with whom I fought, was asked to put red lipstick on my lips. She applied lipstick on my lips and started laughing at me. I started crying loudly and try to protest my best, but at my age I couldn't do any thing with my three elder sisters. Then she applied Red bindi on forehead. This was such a humiliation that I almost give up may be I was tired or Bindi and Lipstick had made my masculinity to get away from me. Still I was crying but my efforts to get out of their control was stopped which motivated them further. My eldest sister also started to pronounce me as "Sharmily" (my female name given by my sister which means "very shy lady"). Suddenly I started to feel something as I listing my feminine name. Then they left me but I couldn't remove the lipstick or bindi as still was in shock what happened to me. Then I remain like that whole day till my mother came and asked what happened and learn the whole episode and just laughed. From that day onwards I was trying to stay away from sisters but some how I started feeling attraction with my sisters dress and I was staring while they are doing make up like putting Bindi, wearing bangles, applying Kajal in eyes. After few days I steal my sisters dress from balcony laid for drying and wear it in bedroom. I was feeling great that time, I turn around fast to see how frock moves with me and my body also started to behave as girl. Then many times I steal my sisters Bindi and apply on my forehead to feel femininity of my self and appreciate my self in mirror secretly. This goes on for around three years. When I was thirteen years old, we shifted to new house in some good locality, one day my sister and mother was out for some shopping, I picked up opportunity to explore further, I took my sister's new Salwar Kamiz wear it. I also wear Payjama and Duppta over it. I covered my head with Duppata which is traditional way women in india does. I was in busy in looking my self at mirror and moving my body in girlish way, suddenly I heard the noise of steps and my sisters knocks the door. Out of fear I hide my self in a corner of bedroom, not realising that she was able to see me clearly from the window through mirror reflecting my seating in corner. She ordered me to open the door with removing her dress. I have no option to follow her instruction.. When I opened door, trying to save my self could raise my head but facing ground. She asked " why did you wear my dress? Or you like to be a girl". My mom was also with her and she told me that if I like to wear girl's cloth she had a plan. Then she turns to my sister and whisper her some thing. She asked me to remove that dress, I stand there in nude condition with wearing nothing. Then she give me her panty and bra to wear. Then she put some handkerchief in bra cup. She made me to wear the most feminine pink colour dress with many frills to wear. Then she started to put Bindi on forehead, my both hand were made full of dozen of glass bangles which makes noise with every movement of my hand. Then she applied lipstick on my lips which was matching with dress. She made me to wear clip on ear rings. When this all were being done, my other sisters were also came home and joined in task of making me girl. They all appreciating and telling, " I wish you should be our youngest sister. It would be nice to have sister like you. You are such a beautiful girl etc." I was filling very shy and also enjoying my journey of being girl as first time my wish is being true and got opportunity to be fully girl in front of my family but also feared for what happens next. Then they ask to tell them my name, I said shyly " Shamily", they all enjoyed it. They ask me make different girlish pose like heroine makes in movies. The fulfillment and enjoyment make my eyes full of tears. My sisters hug me and told, "Now on you are our little sister and we'll support you for every thing. But condition is you have to obey orders by any of us at all time and also help mom in house chores else they will tell this to Dad and to all my friends" I begged, " yes, I'll do every thing they ask but please don't tell any one about this" Then they asked me to do house cleaning. While moving and cleaning, bangles were making noise which they all giggles and laughs at my condition of being sissy. I was allowed to wear my normal cloth just before time of my Dad comes. This becomes routine for me. As I have morning school, every day after coming home, I was asked to wear old clothes of her with make up and doing house chores of washing clothes, dishes, preparing roti, cleaning house all possible girly work. In after noon I was allowed to do my school homework and at night I return back to boy and go out to play. But my sister don't like that I play with other boys of society, so they set trap for me and convinced to my Mom. At night when my Dad come, mom told to dad, " Look, we are having shortage of money and day by day cost of living, education are increasing. We are required to send our son for higher education which will required more money. Why don't we ask him to start earning some money which we can save from right now and will be helpful to him in future for his own study." After a thought my dad agrees to it but asked what he can do to earn money, as he is against to send me out side to earn as it will hamper my study. So, as per preplanned my mom suggested, " Why can't he stays at home and earn money by stitching clothes, that way he also learns some art and time also saves." From that day my life has taken a U turn, after returning home, I become "Sharmily" and at evening I was being teach stitching work by mother no time to go out of home. Then gradually my mom has stopped shopping for my under wears and asked to wear my sister's old panties. Then she also stopped to purchase my shirts and pants. Once while returning from school, I torn shirt strike with some nail, and returned home. She at night told to Dad convince him that proper punishment for me is to make wear sisters blouse at home. So, then after I was regularly wearing blouse and Ghagra at home. Once my aunti (mother's elder sister) visited to home and seen me in such condition she could not stop laughing. Then she suggested I am pretty good girl but will look gorgeous if put with sufficient accessories which girls of my age wears like , bindi, bangles. Payals, ear rings, Nose rings, and also have some hair style. Mom took me to shopping market wearing blouse, Ghagra choli of Red colour wearing bangles and bindi, Lipstick and stops at Goldsmith shop. She asked him to pierce my both ears and nose. He make me wear locking type Nathani in my nose. Then she lead me to ladies barber to make my hair curly at bottom and plates at centre of head. Looking at mirror I was looking like a 14 Yrs of young beautiful girl wearing wonderful red Ghagra-choli with matching accessories. I was really passable like girl. Few girls which knows my mother asked me who am I? She replied to them " She is my son, who wanted to be my daughter so she is now." I was really ashamed but couldn't do any thing. Girls were laughing and teasing me. Then after I am doing house chores for near by houses also and earning money to my mom. Also I am learning Mehandi Classes and beauty parlor classes so in future I can open my own beauty parlor and help my mother to earn. I am truly enjoying my being girl. While I am writing this story to you, I am wearing complete bridal dresses, Purple colored Silk Saree, blouse, Ghagra, Mehandi, Bindi, Bangles, Ear ring, and also my first artificial breast. I'm in heaven. with love, Sharmila Thank you for your letter Sharmila. I find it so fascinating that petticoating takes place the world over, no doubt do to the positive effect it can have on young boys. You seem to have adjusted quite well to this treatment and I'm sure your family is appreciative. (Editors note: I left the translation as provided.) Auntie Helga |