|
I had lost my job and was feeling depressed so Mother took me along on a holiday to visit a close friend she that she had gone to school with, Theresa was a lovely lady who took me under her wing, Mother encouraged the relationship and by the time we returned home 'I was in love', I would write long outpourings to Theresa but frustratingly she always replied with a letter addressed to both Mother and I, the letters were generalised but she always said how she loved my visit and would like me to return. As the letters progressed it was evident that she was not interested in 'manly' men but preferred someone more effeminate. I was confused and cried to Mother for help and one evening after a long phone conversation with Theresa she asked if I was serious and understood that Theresa would only accept me if I became a sissy. I was besotted and would have cut my arms off if it meant being with her, Mother was quite excited and said it would be a fun time for us both. She had to go to New Zealand but on her return I was told to clean everything including clothes out of my room which was then painted pink, Mother also bought pink curtains and pink bedding. That afternoon I had to shave all the hair off my body and then shower, when I had finished Mother liberally dusted me with perfumed powder and I was given mauve brushed nylon pyjamas with long matching gown and huge pink fluffy slippers to put on, I hesitated and began to have doubts but the thought of Theresa wiped the thoughts away also the pyjamas and slippers felt strangely nice, lovely and soft and warm. I sheepishly shuffled into the lounge room but Mother smiled and said I looked lovely she then hugged me and said that she had always secretly wished for a daughter and she was thrilled that Theresa was interested in me and that I would never regret it. She then called Theresa and after a while handed the telephone to me and I was asked to describe what I was wearing, I was so excited at hearing Theresa's voice that I could not talk properly and Theresa kept soothing me and said she was so happy for me and wished she was there. She asked if I would like to come and stay and that she would get a room especially decorated for me. When Mother tucked me into bed I was in heaven and had a strange feeling of contentment. Mother had sprinkled rose petals in the bed and I was quite intoxicated by the smell. The next morning Mother said we had to go shopping for some new clothes as all mine had been discarded, she had kept one pair of jeans and I was given one of her purple blouses to wear then she gave me some fluffy purple fur moccasin slippers that she had brought back form New Zealand, when I seen my reflection in the mirror I was petrified and refused to go out, I rushed to my room and lay on my bed, Mother came in and said it was my choice, finally after about an hour of weepy confusion and thoughts of Theresa I went out and pleaded with Mother to give me my clothes just for that day but she said no so I pleaded to maybe not wear the slippers but Mother said that I only had those, a red pair or my fluffy pink slippers, again it was my choice. I could feel everybody's eyes on me as we walked the streets and I tried to walk/hide behind Mother with my eyes looking at the ground and I prayed over and over that we would not meet anyone that I knew. We went into a boutique and I cringed as Mother explained that her son wished to acquire some outfits, I was terrified and wanted to run out but instead hung on tightly to Mother's arm for fear she would leave me, the ladies giggled and smirked as they led me through racks and racks of clothes. My jeans were replaced early with bright green ladies jeans and thick purple leg warmers. We bought frilly panties, more jeans and satin blouses but not a lot as Mother said Theresa would have untold ideas for my wardrobe. Mother and the ladies made me select items but kept replacing them until I had chosen more feminine and colourful. Then we went to the perfume section and I was made to sniff numerous samples and Mother asked the lady which she thought would suit me. By the time we returned home I was exhausted and very perplexed, Mother hugged me and told me to hang up my new clothes, shower and put on my pyjamas and slippers while she heated some milk to have with biscuits. When I came into the room she showed me how to put the perfume behind my ears and on my wrists, it felt odd to have the smell constantly with me, she then telephoned Theresa and I was put on the phone to tell her about my day. Suddenly the doorbell rang and I froze, I recognised the voice of my aunty and she was coming in, I dropped the phone and ran/scampered to my room. Mother came looking for me and rather angrily grabbed my ear and dragged me into the room to say hello, I was distraught and sobbing and did not want to look at aunty who initially was nonplussed, I was made to sit at Mother's feet while she told aunty about my 'girlfriend', aunty thought it was marvellous and asked me all about Theresa. Then Mother noticed the phone hanging and I was made to call Theresa and explain what had happened , Theresa got a little angry which upset and frightened me, she asked to talk to Mother then I was handed back the phone and Theresa was still angry, I did not hear Mother and aunty talking but was then told to stay on the phone while Mother lifted my gown and pulled down my pyjamas I was then told to lay across her knees while apologising to Theresa for leaving the phone, I didn't realise that mother had taken off one of her leather soled slippers, she had never smacked me before but suddenly there was unbelievable pain and stinging, I yelped and tried to get up but Mother told me very sternly to stay put and I was suddenly frightened of Mother, I started sobbing and was told to again tell Theresa how sorry I was for dropping the phone, I struggled to say the words and felt the sting of the slipper again, I kept whimpering sorry to Theresa and begged her to ask Mother to stop but again and again the slipper was administered while Theresa explained that she had expected better of me, at last Theresa asked to talk to Mother and I was released. I stayed on the phone while Mother and aunty chatted away and Theresa said that she hoped that her little girl had learnt a lesson, then she became sweet and loving again and asked me all about my day and that she hoped I would come visit soon. At 8.00pm it was bedtime and as Mother tucked me in she explained that I was punished to show me that Theresa had to become the most important person in my life and that I must give her complete respect and obedience and not scurry away because of my insecurity and selfishness. After the light was turned off I lay there and wondered that this was not to be the relationship I had expected, I so wanted to go back to normal but knew Mother would now not allow me so I lay there whimpering until I fell asleep. The next morning I was still teary and confused and when I was woken and told to get up I automatically slipped on my gown and slippers which intrigued me. Mother hugged me and asked how I had slept and then explained that we were going to Theresa's in two weeks and that in those two weeks I was going to be very busy learning about domestic duties and also learn about make-up and other feminine activities. I became so excited I could not eat my breakfast. Michelle Thank you for your letter Michelle. I'm sure your mother did the right thing in helping you to become a loving and supportive husband. Auntie Helga |